111014beausami
chessAficionado CA began pestering arcaneArtisan AA at 22:28 -- 10:30 CA: Sami! Can I ask your advice on something?... 10:30 AA: Oh, hey Beau! Sure thing. 10:31 CA: how do I be a supportive parent?... 10:32 AA: Search me. I have no idea what I'm doing over here. 10:32 AA: I'm sure you're doing great though. You're a very supportive boyfriend! 10:33 CA: You're like really good at all that reassurance stuff... 10:34 CA: how do I do that... 10:34 CA: Miloko needs it... 10:35 AA: Oh! Is that what this is about? 10:35 AA: Look, Miloko's going to be a difficult one. She's got self esteem issues up the wazoo. 10:35 AA: Like a certain someone ELSE I could name... 10:36 AA: ...only she's probably got it even worse. 10:36 CA: Yes exactly... 10:36 AA: With people like that you have to be really subtle. If you compliment them all the time, they'll just assume you're trying to be nice, or even worse, assume you're making fun of them. 10:38 CA: I tried to get her to think about what she's good at, and how she doesn't have to be as good as other people at things to be strong... 10:38 CA: I think it worked, but I'm still worried... 10:38 CA: I don't think being a ghost helps my parenting ability... 10:39 AA: Beau, trust me. You're doing way better than I am. 10:39 AA: I don't even have to know what you said to know that. 10:40 AA: I haven't even been able to get in touch with Jackjack, and Darmok... 10:41 AA: ...no, nevermind. Suffice to say maybe Jackjack has the right idea by avoiding me. 10:41 CA: Why?... 10:41 AA: It's nothing. Don't worry about it. 10:41 CA: Sami, are you doing the whole "Everything is my fault even when it isn't" thing again? I thought we talked about that... 10:42 AA: ...no....I'd say this time it pretty much is my fault unquestionably. 10:42 AA: But don't worry. I'm not being a sad sack about it. I'm just trying to decide if the thing that makes things right is going to cause more harm than it does to help. 10:44 AA: Apropos of nothing....it occurs to me that me going out on missions like this....we never know for sure that I'm going to come back from them. 10:44 AA: So I think it's really important that first of all, you know I love you. And second of all, we work on getting you past your trauma so if anything DOES happen, it's not going to crush you. 10:45 CA: I love you too, of course I know that... 10:46 CA: but as far as my trauma... I've been trying... 10:46 AA: I know you have. You've been a real trooper. 10:47 AA: I'm just scared what it's going to do to you if I mess up out here. 10:48 CA: I've done nothing but researc, and I have been getting better!... 10:48 AA: That's good. Is there anything I can do? 10:48 CA: but I'm not really sure how much longer I have to go till I complete this marathon... 10:49 AA: It sounds rough. 10:49 AA: I wish I were there to hold your hand through it all. 10:49 CA: I think just being there to talk to is a great help... 10:50 CA: I do too... 10:50 CA: Maybe one day you all can visit me!... 10:50 AA: Yeah! That'd be really nice! 10:51 AA: I'd love to see you again. 10:52 CA: I would too!... 10:52 CA: how goes LOCAR?... 10:54 AA: We've barely even explored it. 10:54 AA: A couple of the kids got taken for a ride by the local hustlers and now they're deep in boondollar and grist debt. 10:55 CA: oh dear... 10:55 AA: Lily's here still trying to get used to being blind, and Darmok keeps replacing her food with dogfood. 10:55 AA: And I don't think he's taking my scolding seriously because I can't stifle my giggles when he does it. 10:55 CA: guess gambling never does pay off... 10:55 CA: Lily is what? Of dear... 10:55 CA: *on... 10:55 CA: *oh... 10:55 CA: ((wow)) 10:56 AA: Oh, had you not heard about that? 10:56 AA: There was an accident. 10:56 CA: How awful... 10:57 CA: So other than replacing food with that of Canine nourishment, what have your children been getting up to?... 10:58 AA: I haven't been able to get in touch with Jackjack. I have no idea what's going on with him. I'm starting to get worried. 10:58 AA: Maybe I should ask Seriad to check in on him for me. 10:58 AA: Darmok is a sweetheart. He's actually dating Miloko, did you know that? 10:59 AA: Or I guess they're matesprites, rather than "dating." 10:59 CA: No I didn't! How coincidental... 10:59 AA: Probably not that big a coincidence, all things considered. All the kids still left alive are the offspring of two people on our teams, after all. Except Lily and Acenia I guess. 11:00 AA: Since Libby and Scarlet aren't really on our TEAMS. 11:00 AA: We're just lucky no one ended up dating a sibling or something. 11:00 CA: Oh yes, that would be amazingly awkward... 11:01 AA: But then again I'm not even sure if trolls would care. I happen to know that one of the troll kids is trying to court his own mom. 11:01 AA: After five years I had almost forgotten that they were aliens. =P 11:02 CA: Well, since we are on neither Alternia or Earth, we are all technically aliens... 11:02 AA: Yeah, but I mean I had almost forgotten that they weren't just gray humans with horns. 11:03 AA: I'm closer to a couple of trolls than I am to humans who used to be among my closest friends these days. So it had sort of slipped my mind that we came from very different worlds. 11:04 CA: Oh yeah... 11:04 CA: Sometimes I miss some people a lot, even though I was never even really close to them... 11:05 AA: Oh? Anyone in particular? 11:06 CA: like I only knew Mary Elizabeth because her parents dragged her to my parent's parties, and I never really got close to her, and even the people who got in this game, I feel somewhat responsible that they aren't still with us... 11:06 AA: Oh, you mean people from THAT long ago. 11:06 CA: Yeah... 11:06 AA: I didn't really have any friends aside from you guys. 11:07 CA: But others too. Like Dean, or Aura... 11:07 AA: Dangers of being an army brat. You don't get to stay in the same place real long. 11:07 AA: Yeah....you know I actually talked to Dean's daughter the other day? 11:07 AA: He died here, too. But she prototyped him. 11:07 CA: Realy?... 11:07 AA: I almost asked to talk to his sprite....but I decided not to. I wouldn't know what to say, and he wouldn't have any idea who I was anyway. 11:08 CA: I guess it could be worse... 11:08 CA: and that might be for the best... 11:08 AA: He was the first friend I ever lost. I mean....I know he had sort of lost it and I don't even know if he was really our friend anymore when Jack killed him. 11:09 AA: But it still hurt. And it was the first step in a long line of bullshit this game was going to throw at us. 11:10 CA: Yes... 11:10 CA: a very long and painful line... 11:10 AA: God. Look how far we've come since then. I lost a guy who tried to sell us out to Jack and it almost broke me, and now I might lose someone way closer to me and I'm actually considering NOT doing what I have to do to save him. 11:11 CA: What do you have to do to save who?... 11:11 AA: Is that growing up? Or is it just growing callous? 11:11 AA: Oh. No, don't worry about that right now, Beau. 11:12 CA: I think it's getting used to this game... 11:12 AA: Meouet thinks I should wait until her son gets good at his role before I make a decision anyway. So I don't want you to worry about it. 11:12 CA: Well now I am worried about it... 11:14 AA: If I tell you what the situation is, it's just going to make you stressed and maybe make you cry, and it'll probably make my decision even harder. 11:15 CA: I can promise I won't cry if that worries you... 11:15 AA: ...Beau....you don't know what it is yet. How can you possibly promise that? 11:15 CA: Because I'd promise anything to help you... 11:16 AA: Oh god. This is such a bad idea. I really should not burden you with this. 11:16 AA: Fuck. 11:16 CA: Sami, are you ok?... 11:16 AA: Okay, fine. Here goes. And I apologize ahead of time. 11:17 AA: Because of the decisions I made on LOGAT, Darmok is going to die. 11:17 AA: It is possible that he doesn't have to... 11:17 AA: ...but not if I'm alive. 11:17 CA: I see... 11:17 AA: Only I don't know for a fact that me being dead will let him live. 11:17 CA: so it's a you die he maybe lives vs you live he dies?... 11:18 AA: Yeah. Pretty much. 11:18 AA: The hell of it is, he seems to be....sort of okay with it. Like he's obviously not happy about it, but he doesn't seem scared or even all that angsty. 11:19 AA: But what kind of mother am I being if I don't do everything I can to save my son? 11:19 AA: ...but on the other hand, he's not the only person depending on me to keep him safe. 11:20 AA: Lily has kinda-sorta adopted me, and I'm looking out for Rubi and Miloko since you can't be here to do it, and let's be honest Doir needs babysitting as bad as any of the newbies... 11:20 AA: ...plus there's you. 11:21 AA: And I haven't even MET Jackjack yet. 11:21 CA: So what is the exact threat? Who is going to kill Darmok?... 11:21 AA: I don't know. 11:21 AA: Meouet thinks I should wait till her son, the Seer of Doom, is good enough to give me a better picture of what's coming. 11:21 AA: And that's what I plan to do. 11:22 AA: And make a decision once I know what my choices really are. 11:22 AA: But I don't even know what the deadline for my decision is. 11:22 AA: ...I'm scared I'm going to let everyone down no matter WHAT decision I make. 11:24 CA: Perhaps the best course of action is to not play by these rules? I'm not sure what the situation is, but perhaps it's possible for you both to survive?... 11:25 AA: God. I want to believe that. But....this is eldritch stuff, Beau. 11:25 CA: And, you don't have to carry this load yourself. Have you asked Darmok how he feels about you sacrificing yourself for him?... 11:25 CA: Ah yes, of course it is... 11:25 AA: I don't know if I'll even be ALLOWED to fight it, much less if I have the power to. 11:26 AA: I can't ask Darmok! He already gave me this whole "Death is only the beginning," wise-beyond-his-years thing. He's probably just going to do something stupid like sacrifice himself for ME. 11:27 AA: Or pretend to be fine with it even though on the inside he's a scared little boy who wants his mom to save him from the monsters. 11:29 CA: Well, I won't lie to you Sami... 11:29 CA: I am terrifyed of the idea of you dying... 11:29 AA: I know. 11:29 CA: but... 11:29 AA: That's why I didn't want to tell you, either. 11:30 CA: If you truly think it's th only option, I won't try and dissuade you for my own interests... 11:30 CA: but I will urge you to try and find a way out... 11:30 AA: I don't intend to stop trying, Beau. I just don't expect I'll find anything. 11:30 CA: Knowing the horrorterrors, they might just kill Darmok anyway for fun... 11:30 AA: Thank you for not hating me for considering this, Beau. 11:31 CA: I could never hate you for something like this Sami... 11:31 CA: Hmmm, you know, I just had an idea... 11:31 AA: God. You probably wouldn't have had to try hard to find a girlfriend who doesn't cause you as much pain as I have. 11:32 CA: Did you know that one of my abilities as the heir of light is that I can cheat a death clock and make any death non just or non heroic?... 11:32 AA: So I guess, just....thanks for being such a glutton for punishment, too. 11:32 AA: Can you? 11:32 CA: I wonder, if the terms of the deal is that you have to die, what if you die, and then I made it a non just or heroic?... 11:32 CA: then you will revive... 11:33 CA: And yes I can, unfortunately I had no way to see my own death clock, or my situation would be very different... 11:34 AA: I don't know. I guess we'll have to figure it out once this Seer of Doom tells me how it all goes down. 11:35 CA: Yes, I suppose we will... 11:35 AA: The way the girls from the other timelines were talking, the only timelines where Darmok didn't die because of Sami was because she was dead or because she didn't do what I did on LOGAT. And "her death was always Heroic." 11:35 AA: And "he always died eventually anyway." 11:36 AA: But those were Doomed Timelines. 11:38 AA: Which is the only reason I think it's possible he COULD survive. 11:38 CA: That the timelines are doomed when he dies?... 11:39 AA: I don't think that's WHY the timelines are doomed. Best I can tell, those timelines were doomed because Acenia died. Not because of anything to do with Darmok. But I'm not a time player, so don't ask me how that all works. 11:39 CA: fair enough... 11:39 AA: But everyone dies eventually in a Doomed Timeline anyway, right? 11:40 AA: So maybe the only reason Darmok died in those was because everyone was going to, eventually. 11:42 CA: Yeah, maybe... 11:46 AA: But I could just be lying to myself. Grasping at hope that's not there....and then I would be throwing away my life for nothing. 11:46 AA: That's why I'm going to wait for the Seer of Doom. So I know for sure whether me sacrificing myself will even accomplish anything. 11:51 CA: Well, it's not like this is a shitty anime Sami... 11:52 CA: You don't have to be the main character who sacrifices everything for the power of friendship... 11:53 AA: I thought me putting myself in harm's way for my friends was why you fell in love with me in the first place? <3 11:54 CA: I fell in love with you because you always knew what to do to help people, even when you didn't have to... 11:54 AA: Well that's even worse then. Because I don't know what to do this time. 11:55 AA: And....the other thing is... 11:55 CA: Well I guess it's too bad I'm already in love with you. Besides, you still don't have to decide yet... 11:55 CA: hm?... 11:55 AA: ...god. This is going to sound horrible. Coming from me, after all my bravado over the years. 11:55 CA: ?... 11:56 AA: ...I'm scared to die. 11:56 AA: I think I've given myself too long to think about it. Usually when I throw myself in, I just do it before I have a chance to think about it. 11:56 AA: And now I'm afraid I'm going to chicken out even if it turns out to be the right thing. 11:57 CA: Sami, would... would you like me to tell you what it felt like?... 11:57 CA: dying I mean... 11:57 AA: ...is it going to be painful for you to remember? 11:57 CA: Not really... 11:57 CA: As long as I dont have to talk about the other you... 11:58 AA: I don't know if it matters anyway. It's not the pain or anything like that I'm worried about. 11:58 CA: what are you worried about?... 11:58 AA: If I die....there's almost no chance I'm going to end up in the same dreambubble as you. And no chance I'm going to see any of you guys again. Even as a ghost. 12:00 AA: And when I think about that, I just....lose my nerve. 12:00 AA: And that's just so fucking selfish of me. Becuase Darmok must be thinking the same thing, about Milly, and all the other people he loves. 12:02 CA: Well, I might be able to make that no chance turninto all the chance... 12:03 AA: ...oh shit. That's right! You're like the ultimate lucky charm! 12:03 AA: Assuming luck even comes into it. The horrorterrors might decide to throw me in the wrong dreambubble as punishment. 12:04 AA: Still, this is the best chance I've got. Thank you Beau. 12:04 CA: Well, how much control can they really have on that?... 12:05 AA: I don't know. If they could grab your dreambubble and hitch it to the ark, I imagine they could find me in Paradox Space and throw me where they want me. 12:05 CA: yeha... 12:06 CA: ((*yeah)) 12:06 CA: but, if I dont have control over it, and this somehow becomes the last time we talk... 12:06 CA: I love you Sami... 12:06 AA: I love you too Beau. 12:07 AA: But I hope we still have time before I have to make my decision. 12:07 CA: Yes, and perhaps I will be able to find a way to act from inside the dreambubble... 12:07 AA: I'll be sure to message you after I talk to the Seer of Doom, as long as nothing happens before then. 12:07 AA: And I'll try to visit you before that, at least. 12:07 CA: Yeah... 12:09 CA: Until then Sami... 12:09 AA: Later Beau. -- chessAficionado CA ceased pestering arcaneArtisan AA at 00:09 --